My Immortal
by XtinethePirate
Summary: “…the gods may love a man, but they can’t help him when cold death comes to lay him on his bier.” Anakin. ObiWan. A close encounter pushes the two Jedi apart, until tragedy must reunite them. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

September 15, 2005

Ok, fist things first - I want to send MEGA hugs and loving to my Beta and my buddy, TempleMistress. Without you, this story would probably have faded away into the dark recesses of my computer, never to be completed! Thank you for encouraging me, for polishing this story so that it shone even beyond my wildest imaginings. A big Obi-hug to you, and I apologize again for being a tragedy junkie! Love you! (Remember, that shower scene in particular is dedicated - and extra steamified! - to and for you!)

Disclaimer: Yeah, if I owned them, would Luke Skywalker have ever been in the movies? Nuhuh! It would all be Obi!

"…_the gods may love a man, but they can't help him  
when cold death comes to lay him on his bier."_

_The Odyssey, lines 225-256_

_**My Immortal**_

_Part 1:_

Palpatine had made a mistake.

It was a new experience for the Sith Lord, after carefully planning and plotting out his schemes for the better part of three decades, and it was not an experience that he particularly enjoyed. Especially since whether or not he would be able to _learn_ from this mistake was currently in question.

All over one Jedi Master, Palpatine mused, edging silkily backwards, from the silhouette in the doorway, the tidal wave of the Force that he felt approaching. He had wanted Kenobi to be dead before the boy arrived in his office. A pity that Anakin had witnessed the end of their battle, and his Master's collapse.

More of a pity that the damnable Jedi still seemed to be alive.

He kicked at the prone form of Obi-Wan Kenobi in passing. The Jedi Master had been intended for Utapau, where Grievous could have conveniently delayed him for a few days. But no, this _paragon_ of the Jedi Order had been obliged to have a change of heart, had decided to disobey his directions and come to the rescue of Anakin Skywalker, his beloved friend.

Palpatine repressed a sneer at such blatant emotion. Obi-Wan Kenobi was a meddlesome pest, an insect that buzzed irritatingly at the edge of his plans. He had tried to spoil Skywalker's destiny, to intervene in the boy's fate, just when he had been about to fall.

And like an insect, Palpatine had squashed him. Tortured his body with the Sith lightning until that smug, self-righteous voice had been worn ragged with agonized screams.

Palpatine's pouchy lips twisted in a spiteful grimace as he deliberately trod on the Jedi Master's outstretched hand. The bones crunched deliciously, garnering a mockery of a smile from the hideous features. Judging by the sound, it was likely that Obi-Wan would never handle a lightsaber again now.

Meddlesome bastard.

The sudden drop in temperature that flooded the room made him look up in surprise. The Force was _radiating_ from this boy, a physical presence that was manifesting itself around the room; faint feathery patterns of frost tracing the transparisteel windows and glossed marble floors, the wisps of white that fluttered in the air with every breath exhaled.

Palpatine inhaled deeply. This anger, this raw _power_ was marvellous. He forced a kindly, almost fatherly smile to his lips, twisted though they were from the exertion of fighting Kenobi.

"Anakin, my boy," he wheezed theatrically, "you arrived just in time. I didn't think I could hold out against him any longer. Quickly, you have to kill him, before he destroys me."

His fallaciously desperate plea fell on deaf ears; the young Jedi was staring at him as though he had never seen the Chancellor before in his life. The hurt confusion, the agony of indecision; everything that the Sith Lord had worked so hard to implant and nurture like poison in Anakin Skywalker's soul – all of that had abruptly vanished from the young Jedi's eyes. He was no longer seduced by Palpatine's honey-coated words.

Those eyes had suddenly become very, _very_ cold.

"He was going to prevent you from saving her, Anakin; he would have kept you from saving Padmé…from fulfilling your destiny. They are jealous of you Anakin, the entire Order wants to twist you to their ideals, to rob you of your _potential_."

Anakin made no reply, stepping forward into the room with all the authority and presence of a battle cruiser. And with more destructive capabilities. Palpatine found himself moving backwards involuntarily, scampering behind his desk in an attempt to put something solid between himself and this epicentre of the disturbance in the Force.

Anakin knelt momentarily by his Master's side, laying one hand gently on his cheek. Palpatine strained forward to catch the words that the younger man spoke, reading the syllables that his lips formed.

_I'm sorry._

Palpatine scowled. It would be such a _waste_ to eliminate such potential, but there was really nothing else for it. The boy was fully and _disgustingly_ saturated with the Light Side.

Unless….

The Master was, regrettably, still alive, if barely. Another oversight, but one that could potentially be turned to his advantage. Anakin had always been a slave to his own sentiments. If he felt so strongly about that dried-up twig of a Jedi Master of his….

"Use the power, Anakin," he urged quietly, "you can feel the power of the Dark Side; I sense it in you. The power to save_ lives_, Anakin, remember, I promised it to you."

Anakin turned to face him, eyes clouded, rising slowly from his fallen Master's side.

Palpatine pressed the advantage, reaching out one hand in a welcoming gesture, a comforting motion to assuage the conflict of emotion that he felt radiating from the boy.

"There's no reason that the power must be reserved for Padmé's sake alone. Do you love Obi-Wan better than you love her? Then _use_ that power." his voice faltered slightly as Anakin rose.

"I offer you everything," he gasped, as Anakin strode calmly towards him, cloak billowing out like the wings of some vengeful angel, as black as the Dark Side. "_Take it!_"

Anakin's eyes were so dark as to appear black, staring down into Palpatine's own.

The blue beam that pierced the Chancellor's heart, however, was Light incarnate.

"I do love him," were the final whispered words that Palpatine heard, "Which is why I _can't._"

There were tears on the boy's cheeks. Interesting….

Even Sith Lords can make mistakes.

Palpatine's was fatal.

-----

Anakin surveyed the perfectly clear sky with an attitude of disgust, blinking as the sun's ferocious rays beat down on him, refracting from the metal lines of his pod-racer. The Malastare race was about to start so, in theory, he was supposed to be checking his machine for any defects or signs of sabotage before the course began. Distractions in such an endeavour were synonymous with certain, and often painful, death. A pilot was supposed to be focused: on his machine, on the course, on _winning. _And on survival, if there was room for that as well.

He could only think of Obi-Wan.

Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, with his auburn hair that caught the highlights of the Coruscanti sun, his fierce eyes that were bluer than the seas of Mon Calamari. Obi-Wan…

"Damn it," he muttered. The race was about to start, the names of the daring – and suicidal – pilots being announced in three languages over the com-speaker. His name came up, a roar from the crowd answered. No doubt his varying dangerous exploits were being dissected in minute detail by a hundred thousand enthusiasts. Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight and General of the Clone Wars, survivor of Geonosis, destroyer of Darth Sidious.

He still wasn't sure he belonged here…all of those other escapades had been carried out alongside Master Kenobi.

And things had not ended well between them.

It had started with Padmé. After the death of Palpatine at his hands, and later, Grievous, the Jedi Council had unanimously voted to award him the rank of Master, to make his seat on the Council permanent.

He had refused that honour. Although Padmé wouldn't understand, he knew that he didn't really deserve it.

_"Respectfully, Masters, this Council has included only twelve of the most deserving and affluent Jedi for thousands of generations. The Chancellor had no right to insert a new seat, nor did I have any right to accept it. I humbly offer you my apologies, and I will anxiously await the day when I can truly claim a place here on merit."_

_Master Yoda's ears had lifted in surprise during the short speech, Anakin noticed, though he kept his eyes respectfully downcast in a semi-bow. He had been far too arrogant in the past for his own good; he could see that now, so clearly. He wanted to earn the regard of the Masters, not demand it as his right. He had no right to do so._

_It had taken him so long to see it. To see how much his damned arrogance hurt those around him… had hurt Obi-Wan. He had been so caught up in his righteous indignation, in his persistence that _he_ was the victim, that he hadn't heard the wisdom of his Master beyond Palpatine's lies._

_Not until Obi-Wan had nearly died trying to save him. In that single, excruciating instant, when he had felt the agony of his Master though his Force Bond, had seen the sick, twisted delight on Palpatine's face, he had seen what he would become. What awaited him if he followed that tempting path to the Dark Side. _

_A monster. Palpatine was nothing more than a monster, and he had tried to turn Anakin into a pale reflection of himself. _

_Anakin had almost let him. Had almost allowed Obi-Wan to die because of that. He would spend the rest of his life making amends if needs be. No, he didn't deserve recognition for destroying Palpatine… not when it had been Obi-Wan who had inadvertently saved _him.

_Slowly, the venerable old Master inclined his head. "Wiser, you have become, young Skywalker. Saved many Jedi, you have. No reward, do you desire?"_

_Anakin considered. He could ask for anything, anything in the world, and it would be granted to him. A new Delta-7, more comfortable rooms in the Temple – if they existed, that is – or… special dispensation to marry?_

_No. When he stepped back from himself, let go of the moment to hear his heart, there was only one thing that he desired above all else, but it wasn't something that anyone could give to him._

_He smiled faintly, raising his eyes to meet Yoda's large, brown ones. "I did only my duty, Masters. I need no reward."_

_Yoda closed his eyes, nodding silently. Master Windu slowly leaned back in his seat, interlacing his fingers and regarding the young Jedi with a new sense of esteem. There was no deception coming from Anakin that _he_ could detect, nor did Yoda seem to find anything amiss. The boy actually meant it._

_Anakin waited patiently under the weight of their regard, sneaking a sidelong look at his Master, always so studiously impassive in these meetings._

_Obi-Wan was smiling at him, eyes bright with respect and pride._

(You've done well, Anakin.)

_The words that flowed through the Master-Padawan bond that still joined them made his heart leap. He could feel his cheeks flush with gratification, as though he was still ten years old, fighting to earn a kind word from his unyielding Master. Those words were so simple, but they spoke volumes to his heart. They were all the reward he would ever need. _

But Padmé….

_"You could have told them, Ani; you're the saviour of the galaxy, a hero! I think they would have understood."_

_He had never noticed before how she paced around her apartments when she was nervous, how she twined her fingers together and shot him accusing looks. Obi-Wan was always so still when he argued with Anakin, forcing the younger Jedi to plant his feet, to take a stance and defend it. Padmé's constant motion was making him almost dizzy…._

_"It would have been wrong, Padmé. They offered me their respect, and that's the reward I wanted. To request something that is completely forbidden to us-"_

_She paused by the windows, fingering some knickknacks from her home world of Naboo, biting the inside of her lip as though working her way through her next argument. He had never before realised how the quarters were still very much _hers_, even though they had been married for three years. Jedi had no possessions, of course, so he would never be able to compare with the clutter of her souvenirs… but sometimes it felt as though his personality hadn't even made a dent in this sumptuous place. _

_"But they would have said _yes_."_

_Anakin sighed in exasperation, pushing forward from leaning against the wall. "And it would have been wrong! Why don't you understand that, Padmé? It would have been wrong of me to ask of them something that ordinarily would have been unthinkable. It would have been an abuse of trust, of power. You're a politician, you should understand that!"_

_"Ani-"_

_"Don't call me that. I'm not ten any longer, Padmé, please."_

_"You need to relax; you've had a hard few months. When you're feeling better, you can go back to the Council and -"_

_Gently, he took her hands in his, staring deep into her wide hazel eyes. "No. I won't." She was so fragile, so breakable in her overdone robes and wide, liquid eyes. A porcelain doll, like the lines of miniatures she had accumulated. _

_A Jedi had no such possessions. _

_"Anakin-"_

_His full name sounded so awkward on her lips when she said it, the syllables sounding clumsy and flat. When had he first noticed that? When had he realized that she was trying to mother him as well as be his wife? _

_"Padmé, if you're going to force me to choose between the Jedi and you –"_

_"With me, you'll have a _family_, Anakin!"_

_Yes he would; the swell of her pregnant belly was obvious now, even under the numerous, starched layers of fabric. He would be a father if he stayed with Padmé, he would gain a wonderful child, and lose his Jedi commission. He would gain a family… and lose everything that had defined his life. He would gain love in the eyes of a child, and lose all esteem in the eyes of his companions. _

_He would lose the Jedi, lose his freedom. He would lose Obi-Wan. _

_He studied their intertwined fingers, capturing her smaller hands easily between his own. That last thought, the loss of his Master, was a palpable, physical pain that ate away at his heart. When had his feelings changed so much?_

_"Ani?"_

_He reluctantly lifted his eyes to meet hers, to let her see the truth that lay therein. _

_When had he stopped loving her?_

_"The Jedi _are_ my family, Padmé. I'm so sorry."_

After Padmé returned to Naboo, it was really only a matter of time.

Although his Master would ardently deny the fact, he had never fully regained his health after being held captive and tortured by Asajj Ventress. The fight with Palpatine had weakened him further, lending a fragile aspect to his once immovable power. Anakin found himself constantly watching him, ready to help Obi-Wan out whenever he could (while trying to avoid any overt appearance of doing just that). Obi-Wan's flaw as a Jedi was his hubris. He would not take well to having a nursemaid of any sort.

So Anakin had made up excuses to spend time with him, to maintain their deep connection at a time when he knew he should be taking on a Padawan of his own. It just felt… _wrong_, somehow. He wanted to be near Obi-Wan.

He should have pulled out when he had the chance. When the casual, knowing looks they exchanged deepened in intensity and meaning. When the sparks that flew between them at every accidental contact were almost palpable. When the tension between them grew hot enough to melt durasteel.

He should have escaped then, before it was too late.

'_It was a mistake to come here.'_

_That was Anakin's first thought as he stepped into the 'fresher room on finishing his workout. He had been working hard, as he always did, nowadays. Staying so close to Master Kenobi's side was to invite tensions that couldn't be so easily released, now that Padmé had been gone for almost a month. He still couldn't bring himself to buying release on the lower levels of Coruscant, though he knew it was a viable option. No, that would be a betrayal somehow. A betrayal of the lover he desired but couldn't have. _

_He compensated by pushing his body beyond the limits of its endurance, training for hours on end, until he was too exhausted for anything other than sleep. Today had been no exception; after four hours of unrelenting lightsaber practice, sweat plastered his dark blonde curls flat against his head, creating a silken sheen over his skin. He had dispensed with his tunic, and revelled in the cool damp air from the refresher room against his bare skin. Soon he would be able to close his eyes and relax under the pounding caress of hot water, soothing the aches and pains of his muscles…._

_Except that Obi-Wan was there, towelling his hair idly as he stepped from the 'fresher. Suddenly the room seemed much hotter than it had only moments before. Anakin caught his breath. _

_His Master, clad only in a towel draped discreetly about his waist, froze as well, slowly lowering his arms and letting the other piece of fabric fall to the floor. His hair was deliciously tousled, Anakin noted, unable to stop staring. Obi-Wan returned the lingering look, gaze wandering over Anakin's bare upper body for a brief moment before locking onto his eyes. _

_Anakin felt constrained in his own skin, nervous and jumpy. He wasn't sure whether he was happy or supremely disappointed that he hadn't arrived a few minutes earlier, when Obi-Wan would still have been _in_ the shower, _sans_ the terrycloth protection of his modesty. Water still dripped from his Master's bare skin, running in rivulets down his jaw, over his chest. _

_Anakin stepped forward, twitching his hips a _tad_ more than necessary, just to see Obi-Wan tremble. With a mildly reproving look, Anakin bent down slowly to pick up the fallen towel before it got completely soaked from lying on the floor. Wordlessly, he held it out to Obi-Wan, close enough to see the steam rising in faint wisps from his Master's skin. Close enough to trace the line of every water droplet as they snaked their way down across his chest. _

_Close enough to…._

_Anakin didn't know who moved first. Suddenly they were kissing, fervently, passionately, the dammed-up emotions of three years and more being released in one mindless torrent. Anakin cursed that fact that he had opted to wear his tight black pants, they were a bitch to wriggle out of in a hurry. _

_Obi-Wan's towel was quite a different story, of course. _

_"Anakin," the older Jedi murmured against his lips, back arching slightly as his arms entwined around Anakin's neck. _

_"Anakin..."_

_He could only sigh in response, moving his lips from dancing with Obi-Wan's own to trace along that elegant neck, to nibble at the delicious hollow of his throat. He pressed his hips forward against Obi-Wan's, grinding up against his Master just to hear that delicious, throaty moan once again…._

_"Anakin, stop."_

_No, he didn't want to, he wanted this, wanted to wrap himself around his Master's body, to insinuate himself into his spirit and mind, until the Jedi was as mad about him as he was for Obi-Wan. _

_"Anakin…" More insistent, but he didn't want to hear; he crushed his lips against his friend's again, forcing him to silence, sending them both down a violent dark spiral of desire. His hands moved down Obi-Wan's skin, tracing little patterns with his fingernails, feeling the startled gasp in response. They toyed with the pleasant fabric of the towel, enjoying the difference between the ridged fabric, and the smoothness of skin underneath…_

_"_Anakin!" _This time, a strangled squawk of surprise. _

_Then hands on his chest, pushing him away, driving him backwards. No…he wanted, he…_

_Anakin blinked, clearing some of the fogs of lust from his mind to see Obi-Wan, cheeks flushed, and breathing heavily, glowering at him. _

_"Anakin, stop," he said with quiet finality, pushing away the long strands of his mussed hair that fell over his eyes. "This isn't… this isn't right. The Code, Anakin –"_

_He growled softly. "To _Sith_ with the Code, Obi-Wan! You can't tell me that you don't-"_

_Obi-Wan looked pained. "No, I do, Anakin. And that's the problem. We're Jedi, Anakin, and held as an example by all beings of the galaxy. It's not an easy life, but we both chose it, Anakin. It's not a commitment to be taken lightly."_

_"The why didn't you tell your precious Council about me and Padmé?"_

_Obi-Wan's resolute expression faltered. "Because, Jedi or no, I'm still human, Anakin. I'm not immune to emotion."_

(And I love you.)

_The words he didn't say echoed between them. _

_Anakin moved towards him, cupping Obi-Wan's chin in one hand, tilting it up slightly so their eyes locked. _

_"Anakin, _please_." _

_He knew in that instant, that he had won. If he kissed Obi-Wan again, there would be no struggles, no moral arguments. There would be only the two of them. His Master had never pleaded with him for anything, had never surrendered his will so effectively. Anakin could ignore him, could take what he wanted –_

_- And permanently damage all their years of trust, destroy their friendship, and ruin their working relationship forever. No matter how much the desire was mutual; to pursue it at this moment would be rape, pure and simple. _

_It was still a hard choice. He held Obi-Wan's eyes for a few moments longer, trying ineffectively to ignore the heat from his body, the well-defined muscles that contoured the Jedi Master's slim frame. _

_Damn. _

_He turned away, feeling with shame the wave of Obi-Wan's relief. His Master hadn't been sure about what he would say. He hadn't known, himself. The room was suddenly too confining, he needed to leave. He couldn't look at Obi-Wan, couldn't let his Master see the self-disgust in his eyes. _

_He needed to get out, to get away from Coruscant. To put some distance between himself and the object of all his desires. Well… the Council owed him some time off, anyways. _

_He left without consulting his Master, taking perverse pleasure from the knowledge that Obi-Wan would worry about him. He had left without saying goodbye. _

The starting lights winked green, and Anakin punched the thruster-bars forward, sending maximum power to the rear engines. The pod shot forward in a cloud of dust, and his mind, mercifully, let go of the memories that had haunted him the past few days. Dirt flew up from the sandy track, coating his face and winnowing its way into his skin, covering his cheeks, forehead, and mouth.

It still couldn't quite drown out the taste of Obi-Wan.

-----

"_Anakin, stop."_

Obi-Wan wondered idly if it would be possible to die of sheer self-loathing. Why had he said that? It hadn't been what Anakin had wanted; it _certainly_ hadn't been what he had wanted. Completely the opposite, in fact. No, he had been somehow obliged to once again be the perfect Jedi Master. Answering to the nebulous air of mystique and the unrelenting archaic rules that bound the Jedi Order together, as though he was a youngling fearful of being discovered sneaking into the holofims.

Honestly, sometimes he still felt like such a child. He had been hiding, keeping that layer of propriety between himself and Anakin, because without it…? Without it, he didn't know who he was. It was a terrifying notion.

Mace was looking at him oddly again, he noted. His emotions were probably showing on his face more than he had thought. He had been thinking a lot about Anakin recently, more and more as the weeks passed since his companion had left the halls of the Jedi Temple.

It had been only twelve days… it felt like an eternity.

Obi-Wan blinked sharply, drawing himself more upright in his chair, and trying to focus back in on the meeting. Sometimes he wondered whether the skinny Master Yarael Poof _ever_ shut up. His droning voice was enough to send Obi-Wan to sleep.

_Anakin would never let you live it down if you did _that...

But that was the whole problem. Anakin wasn't _here_.

Force, but he missed him. He needed Anakin more than he would care to admit… his memory was still foggy when it came to what had happened on Rattatak what Ventress had done to him. It was better to forget, to let his body and mind heal.

Except that they weren't. Without Anakin close to him, asleep in the next room, he had been waking from nightmares, screaming his throat raw, drenched in sweat. Fear leaving a metallic taste in his mouth. He was frightened without Anakin near, frightened as his body seemed to fail him more and more with each passing day, as it had done since his return from captivity. His fluid movements were beginning to lack their customary grace, his vision would blur periodically. He had blacked out twice in the past week…

If Anakin were with him….

Mace was staring at him again, and belatedly Obi-Wan realized that the room had fallen silent. Damn. Master Poof must have asked him a question, and he hadn't been paying attention….

Mace's hand on his shoulder made him look up, startled. When had the other Jedi moved? Had he blacked out again?

There was a strange taste in his mouth, harsh and sickening. Touching his hand to his lips, he was shocked to find that his fingers came away red.

Blood.

Mace was talking to him; detached, he could see the powerful man's lips moving, his face close to Obi-Wan's own. He couldn't concentrate, couldn't make out the words.

_PAIN!_

It screamed though him suddenly, making his back arch, his neck snapping backwards sharply, every muscle tight enough to tear in half. He heard a scream, realizing as blood choked him, filling his lungs, that it was _his_ voice. Behind the red lights that washed his vision, he could see the thin, cruel smile of Asajj Ventress.

The lights spun, and he was on his back on the cool floor of the Council Chambers. Someone was gripping his hand tightly as his body spasmed beyond his control.

_Painpainpainpainpain!_

Another scream, hoarse and choking, filled the air.

Mace….His friend's dark eyes were concerned, and Yoda, looking down on him, seemed so severe…. Had Anakin done something to upset the Council? Was Master Qui-Gon defying their orders again? Had he not passed his Jedi Trial after all?

_'Losing himself, he is…'_

The voices came down at him from so far away. He could feel the fierce tremors shaking every muscle in his body, threatening to tear him in half.

But his mind was far away, travelling across the distance of the stars on the bond that held him close to the one person who mattered….

_(Anakin…Anakin, please, I need you…)_

Another fiery burst of agony that tore a final scream from his throat.

_(ANAKIN!)_

There was barely a flicker of reply, a brief moment of awareness, before their connection was severed.

----

_'Anakin….'_

He shook his head sharply, dispelling the memory of his Master's voice from that last encounter. He needed to focus now; he was in the lead, on the final lap.

_'Anakin, _please_…'_

His Master had sounded so weak at that moment, so far removed from the grounding rock of strength that Anakin had clung to for his whole life. It was… disturbing, to know that Obi-Wan was still afraid of him at times. Even though he would _die_ before he harmed a single hair on his Master's head.

_Focus!_ Sith, but he had almost crashed on the turn. He needed to concentrate. _Concentrate_. Obi-Wan was fine, the faint tingling through their Force-bond, the slight echo of _wrongness _was only because they had been apart for a while. He would have to get used to it; they both would. On his return to the Temple, Anakin was going to take a Padawan Learner. He would remove himself completely from Obi-Wan's life if he couldn't share fully in that life.

Obi-Wan wasn't in trouble. The quiet hurts he was feeling through their connection had been going on for some time. Ever since Ventress. Since Palpatine. He had been there to look out for Obi-Wan afterwards, so his Master would be fine.

_Except you're not there now…_

No.

Concentrate on the race. Focus.

Except his name was being hailed over the speakers, a Malastarian waving his racer to the side as he passed through a check-point. Red flags, urgent faces, telling him to stop, now. Stop racing.

_Bloody Sith Hell_, Anakin swore in his mind, seeing three other races zip by him. The race was lost, because of these damnable aliens and their inability to wait for ten minutes….

The com-link they handed him had an image of Master Windu, looking more severe than usual.

Anakin forced his voice to sound light, although inside he was seething. "I should get you a timetable of the race schedules, Master," he said flippantly, leaning against his racer, "so you would know when _not_ to contac-"

"You need to return to the Temple, Anakin."

He raised his eyebrows, smiling in disbelief. "I'm sorry Master, I was under the impression that I had time off..?"

"It's Obi-Wan."

The Malastarian retrieved the fallen comlink, shielding his eyes against the cloud of dust and exhaust. No wonder that Jedi boy had been the odds-on-favourite to win… he had never seen _anything_ move that fast before in his life.

END PART 1

* * *

Well, I hope you all like the fic so far! Bwahahahah, Obi-angst and shower scenes! I need to put this in ALL of my fics! Shower sequences between two sexy Jedi! YAY!

Ahem.

(Jedi mind trick hand-movement) You _will_ leave a review for Xtine. (er...please?)


	2. Chapter 2

First off, a big hug and thank you to everybody who reviewed me! Haha, my Jedi Mind trick must have worked after all! As any author knows, there is no bigger rush than reading a review and knowing that you've done a good job on a fic.

**Alley and Phoenix Red Lion**: is the same day too soon for an update? Well.. next day, as it's 1:12 am. **:o)**

**DarkGirl5: **I never know which one to update myself, so if you have any particular preferences, let me know, ok? I'm working on Chiaroscuro chapter three at the mo, so I hope that was on your list!

**MissNaye:** Glad that you're liking it so far!

**Funyun**: I hate Petme as well. Its so nice to be a ff author and get rid of her! I'm glad you gave this a chance, even though its slash! But not _too_ slashy!

**Vespa:** I'm really glad that you're liking the characters! They get into my head and won't leave me alone! But it's always nice to hear that, even though the situation is rather far removed from SW, that they still sound like themselves!

**Ladylina: **I know I gave Amidork the boot quickly, tis true, but hate her and didn't want to spend any more time with her than was absolutely necessary!

**Lil-kenobi-greenleaf:** (glazed look) I …will… update…soon. Does this mean I get my OBI-COOKIES! YAY! Are they chocolate chip? Yummy yummy! And a yummy Jedi, too…meow! (Btw, he's not dead yet..!)

**Pershin**: You're so nice! I love to hear that I'm loved! And I'm glad to know that my stories have a following, even if it's only of one! **:o)**

And last, but certainly not least!

**TEMPLE MISTRESS!**

Darling beta, this second instalment would never have come into being without you! Thank you SO much for all your help and encouragement and yelling at me for making you cry. You make me feel like an actual author, instead of a university student playing around in her – limited – free time. I adore you, have I mentioned that? And I'm glad that you liked the hair tousled scene…well, this wouldn't be a good fic if we didn't get Obi naked at least once! Remember if you get too sad, there's always SUPERNOVA! (for the rest of you, that hasn't been posted yet. Sorry. **:o)** )

**A/N: **Yeah yeah, we all know that I dont own the characters... so _sad. _But the maggots aren't mine either… even I'm not that twisted! They're from one of the graphic novels in the SW series, and yes, Ventress really did do that to Obi-Wan.

Well, you'll see what I'm talking about soon enough, I suppose….Please enjoy!

* * *

_Part 2_

_There was nothing beyond the pain. Agony that permeated his entire being, until his nerves became so over stimulated that they just seemed to just shut down. There was no sensation, no feeling, a fuzzy mist that enshrouded his entire body. Pain. The pain was always there, shifting and mutable; answering to some capricious whim that he had no ability to grasp. _

_Anakin._

_The face was still there, just beyond his reach, like the voices that came tumbling down on him from great heights, so far away… so unreachable._

_There was the vaguest sensation of movement, a faint discussion. He couldn't see, couldn't open his eyes from the great weight that held them shut. He was just so _tired_, he could slip away into the Force right now… _

_And he would leave Anakin behind…._

_"…painkillers to keep him asleep for a few hours…."_

_"…enough time to discover the source of…"_

_"…should arrive back soon…"_

_He would wait for Anakin. He knew the younger Jedi would come… he _had_ to come. Obi-Wan had never needed Anakin's strength as much as he did now. But…the subtle murmuring of fear whispered around his heart, lapping at the edges of his fading consciousness. A nagging doubt that wormed its way into his mind, crumbling the firm foundation of his assurance._

_Anakin had already left him. Had run away, had run away from Obi-Wan's rejection of him. He was gone._

_Oh Force, Anakin, I'm so sorry…_

_He honestly didn't know if Anakin would come back to him… not any more. He wouldn't blame Anakin if he didn't return. Most of all, he was worried about what Anakin would think of him if he _did_ reappear. Weak, helpless, and, _Force_, so alone. _

_He tried to whisper Anakin's name, tried to reach out once more through the Force to his friend. He was too exhausted, too feeble to do either._

_How pathetic. _

_Vague voices, though the mist, through the darkness. _

_"Master Luminara, I think Master Kenobi may need a higher dose of painkillers. He's crying…"_

_Just fade away… letting out a long sigh, he let go. _

_Fade away…._

_---_

The pain through the Force-bond that still connected him to Master Obi-Wan was growing stronger as Anakin drew nearer to Coruscant. Stronger, but not as intense as Mace's concern would warrant. Frustration rose in him, and he quenched it with difficulty. If this was just some elaborate ruse to get him to come back to Coruscant…

No. That didn't ring true. Not with the restrained panic that he had seen in Master Windu's eyes. But he could barely sense Obi-Wan at all; it was almost as though his Master was –

No. He would know if Obi-Wan had… he would have felt it.

He would know.

A blinking light on the console of his starfighter informed him of the landing coordinates he had been set to follow. What with the air traffic on the planet at all times of the day, the holding pattern in the atmosphere could potentially last for hours.

He didn't have hours.

Ignoring R2's terrified screech of protest, Anakin threw the fighter forwards into a nosedive, down through the layers of atmosphere that heated the outer metal to temperatures so high the ship seemed to glow. He hadn't done this since he had been obliged to land Grievous's flag ship.

Even then, he had had Obi-Wan by his side. If he could do it all over again, he would have blown up the ship from space, killed the false Chancellor, Dooku, and Grievous, just so that Obi-Wan wouldn't have to suffer.

There was no landing platform in sight. Anakin heaved back on the controls, bringing his super-heated ship into a gradual ascent, dodging between the larger, more ungainly craft, emergency klaxons blaring at him from all sides. Rising above the level of the tallest buildings, he let the high winds buffet the small vessel until the exterior began to cool.

Then he dove down once again, weaving manically through the multi-layered streams of traffic that bisected the city. He was heading for the Jedi Temple, as fast as he could possibly fly.

_(I'm coming Obi-Wan. Hold on. I'm coming.)_

_---_

_He couldn't tell whether he was dreaming or awake. There was no way of knowing, when his very senses were lying to him. Were the dark room, the uncomfortable bed, and that omnipresent agony the _real _world? Or was it just a dream that he had been living, and the visions that passed before his eyes were the truth instead…?_

_The boy was scrawny, blonde with unnaturally wide blue eyes, staring at him in awe and disbelief as Master Qui-Gon introduced him –_

_Master Qui-Gon pulled him closer, gasping ragged breaths as he struggled to hold onto life, to impart a final request in his final moments –_

_"Be mindful of the present moment, young one." He hated it when Qui-Gon called him that, even though Yoda had told him to –_

_"Become Master Qui-Gon's Padawan, you will. Learn much from him, you can," Yoda said sagely, nodding his head – _

_"We're headed for Naboo this time, Padawan," Qui-Gon tried to smile, but only managed to look fatalistic. "Well, at least this place is civilised. I suppose we'll have to see what the future holds –"_

_"Clouded the boy's future is, difficult to see –"_

_"What is that supposed to mean? And I don't give a _fuck_ about your rules! He's my friend, and he needs me!"_

_That voice was so familiar… that sudden, burning light within the Force, reaching out to him from the deep well of blackness in which he was trapped._

(Anakin?)

---

Fucking Sith _Hell_, but he was ready to reach into the Force and throttle the life out of Barriss Offee. Even as some part of his brain registered that this probably wouldn't be appropriate – Obi-Wan certainly wouldn't approve – the rest of him was screaming for her blood. She was trying to keep him from the side of the man he loved, but Anakin had come too far to be deterred.

"Barriss," he tried to maintain a modulated, polite, tone of voice. "I need to see Master Kenobi. Master Windu summoned me back to take care of him."

The young Jedi woman stiffened slightly, as though put on the defensive by his implications. "_We_ are taking care of him, _Master Skywalker_," she put a deliberate emphasis on his last name, alerting him to the fact that his casual approach was getting him nowhere. "Master Kenobi is sleeping, and he is not to be disturbed."

"I won't wake him, I promise –" Anakin cut himself off, aware of just how immature and whiny he was sounding. Barriss had always brought out the worst in him.

He tried to ignore the way she arched one eyebrow slightly at his protest, making him feel about three feet tall, when in reality, he towered over her. Barriss had always been one to follow the rules much more closely than he himself had. It had made him wonder on many occasions whether or not _she_ would have been a better Padawan Learner for Obi-Wan.

"Anakin." - How he _hated_ that condescending tone falling from her prim lips. - "You are not a Healer. I promise that Master Luminara is taking good care of Obi-Wan, and you must understand that there are rules here. Your presence would do more harm than good, Anakin."

He chuckled in disbelief, shaking his head slowly. He had known Barriss to be the better Jedi of the two of them when it came to obeying orders and studying the Force. He hadn't realized how truly pedantic she could be. It didn't matter that they had been tentative friends once; she was trying to keep him from Obi-Wan, and that meant that she was an enemy.

"More harm than good?" he repeated softly, lips twitching slightly in an effort to remain calm. A wasted effort. "What is that supposed to mean? And I don't give a _fuck_ about your rules! He's my friend, and he needs me!" he was shouting now, advancing on her so that she shrank back against the wall.

_(Anakin?)_

Obi-Wan's voice made him whirl; it had sounded so close!

But Barriss wasn't finished with him yet. Striding forward, ashamed of her momentary retreat, she _shoved_ Anakin back a step, her eyes blazing. "He's your _friend?_ Then why the _fucking Sith Hell _haven't you been here? If you're his friend, then you should have brought him here before now, before-" she took a deep breath, recovering herself, recovering her anger. "_You're_ the one who abandoned him, Anakin, so don't you _dare_ take that out on me!"

_Abandoned him. _

_Abandoned._

_Him._

Anakin stared at her in mute shock. She was right, of course, Barriss was _always_ right. He had known Obi-Wan wasn't at his best, that he was still fragile after duelling with Pal – with _Sidious, _after being tortured by Ventress. He had snuck into Obi-Wan's room at night enough times to know that his Master still had nightmares about Rattatak, and had sat by his Master's side hour after hour, stroking his hair, trying to keep those nightmares at bay.

And then he had left. One little prick to his overblown pride, one imagined rejection, and he had run away.

He had abandoned the one person he cared about.

"The way the two of you are carrying on, it's hard to tell whether this is an infirmary or a battleground." Master Luminara's voice, though light, carried a strong undercurrent of disapproval that made Anakin flush darkly, as though he was still a Padawan being chastised for some transgression.

"Master Luminara-" Barriss began, but the older Jedi woman cut off her apprentice with a sharp wave of her hand.

"Let him in, Barriss, he deserves to be here." She gave Anakin a long, appraising look. "Besides, if we don't, I have a feeling that he would tear this place apart. Come! Your racket will wake my patients."

With a small scowl, Barriss stood aside to let Anakin rush past her, surprised when he didn't make any smug smiles or gestures in her direction to rub his triumph in her face. No, there was only a semi-dormant panic, an anxiety that robbed grace from his movements. He was terrified for Obi-Wan's health, she realised. The selfish young boy that he had been had grown into a considerate young man. Interesting.

Barriss bit her lip as she turned to follow Master Luminara and Anakin with her eyes. That sort of attachment was dangerous. Anakin loved his Master deeply, enough that he was ready to attack anyone who stood between him and Obi-Wan's side.

Understanding the inevitability of his Master's condition would not be easy for him….Closing her eyes, she sent out a wave of emotion through the Force to Anakin.

_(I'm sorry. I was wrong.)_

She felt the momentary brush of his mind against hers, forgiveness, understanding… then their connection was broken as his mind sought out another. Obi-Wan.

"Be strong, Anakin," she whispered, "for both your sakes."

----

Luminara stopped once they were out of Barriss' line of vision to regard Anakin severely. "I want you to know that it's against my better judgement that I'm even letting you in here. Understand that this is more for _his_ sake than for yours, young one."

Anakin gaped wordlessly at her, unsure from where her abrupt harshness with him was coming.

"Master, respectfully, I –"

"Do you have any idea what happened to Obi-Wan on Rattatak?" her voice was so hard, angry… but it wasn't an anger directed at _him._ No, the simmering rage was the fury of a Healer who has seen the foulest depths to which sentient beings could resort.

One who had seen the work of the sadist, Asajj Ventress.

Anakin froze, pulled unwillingly back to that foul dungeon, that stinking, putrid cell, the hopeless, dull look in his Master's eyes. Saw once again the hideous wounds marring that fair skin, remembered how Obi-Wan had cringed away from him, scared of being hurt once again.

_His fault_.

Luminara must have read the pain in his eyes, for she steered the younger Jedi into her chambers, pushing him gently down into a chair. Anakin caught his breath, staring up at the terrible compassion on her face. It was _this_ bad?

The Healer hesitated for a moment, staring off into some unknown realm as though seeking guidance from the Force. A long, slow sigh escaped her, and she used the Force to call a small object from her desk into the palm of her hand. With a searching look, Luminara handed him the small crystalline vial for his perusal.

"Do you know what that is?"

Anakin held the small container up to the light, seeing something tiny wriggling around inside the glassy interior.

"A worm of some sort?" he hazarded, unsure what relevance this biology lesson had to the present situation. He hadn't heard Obi-Wan's voice in his mind since his argument with Barriss, and it was making him edgy.

"A maggot." Luminara corrected him gently, kneeling in front of him and taking his free hand in both her own. "It's a carnivorous strain, Anakin…I believe that Ventress forced Obi-Wan to ingest them."

"What are you saying?"

"Anakin… he was being eaten alive from the inside out." Her eyes were so sad, staring into his. He jerked his head back in rejection of that claim, wide eyed and terrified, like a little boy who has just been told that he too is mortal. One day, all things will die….

"NO!" he shouted, snatching his hand away from hers. The maggot inside the container exploded in a small puff of blood. "He's fine! He was fine after we returned from Rattatak, you're just angry that you weren't the one to heal him!"

"Anakin," Luminara insisted, "Whatever Force-Healing was done on Obi-Wan only put the maggots into a dormant cycle. The Sith lightning of Sidious must have reawakened them."

"You're _lying!_" he screamed again, rising from the chair and pushing her backwards with the Force. He felt sick, as though something was eating him from the inside as well. There was a strange pounding in his temples, he dimly wondered if he was about to pass out….

"You know how Obi-Wan is; he would never tell anyone that he wasn't feeling all right. He never admits to any sort of physical weakness."

He didn't want to hear this. He could tell what she was trying to say to him, what sinister message lay behind all these explanations and justifications.

"_Shut up,"_ he whispered furiously, throwing out one hand to keep her at bay.

"Anakin, I'm just trying to prepare you."

This was all his fault, he should have been here with Obi-Wan, should have realized that his Master wasn't well. Should have stayed with him.

"Shut _up!_"

"There's nothing more that I, or any other healer, can do for him."

Please stop, _please._ Don't tell me what I don't want to hear, just make this stop, make it end.

"He's dying Anakin. I'm so sorry."

_No._

He wanted to scream and rage at her, to deny it. But there was no anger left in him, no strength. He sagged back down into the chair, as though his were the muscles consumed by maggots. He lacked the ability to stand.

_"No…"_

He barely even registered the keening sound that was his own voice, the thin cry of grief that escaped his throat as he buried his head in his hands. Sobbing, rocking back and forth slightly. Letting the hot tears flood down his cheeks, his eyes burning, his heart breaking.

_No, no, nononononono._

Luminara put her arms around him, resting her chin on top of his head. He hadn't been held like this since he had left home, thirteen years ago. With a howl, he threw himself into her embrace, wanting to smother himself in that protection, to hide himself away from the world.

She rocked him back and forth in her arms, just like his mother had always done, stroking his hair and murmuring wordless sounds of comfort.

It wasn't enough. It wasn't nearly enough.

"I need to see him," he muttered thickly against her shoulder. "Please, let me stay with him."

When Luminara pulled away, he saw that her face, too, was stained with tears. Silently, she nodded, giving him her permission as she rose unsteadily to her feet.

Anakin scrubbed at his face with the back of his hand, wiping away the evidence of his momentary lapse in composure. He didn't want Obi-Wan to see him upset, that would only hurt his Master more. He wouldn't let that happen. He would do everything he could for Obi-Wan, his Master, his love, anything and everything that the older Jedi desired. He would give everything to be able to protect Obi-Wan.

Even if was already too late.

END PART 2

* * *

Have your tissues ready Temple Mistress? Because part three is on its way! Hah! You already know how it ends though, so it shouldn't be _too_ bad, right? Right?

Apologies and cries for forgiveness if this part felt a little more… rushed. It was part three that was the original idea for this fic, and I wanted to get to it! This is all just lead-up!

Anyhoo, isn't that thing with the maggots gross? He actually was forced to ingest them in the graphic novel… but then seemed to suffer no ill-effects from it! What the _FORCE_? Well, thanks to Temple Mistress for informing me of that little piece of sadism on Ventress' part, and putting the idea in my head for future use. Mwahahaa.

PLEASE REVIEW! Or else Obi-Wan will be very, very sad. Hasn't the poor guy suffered enough?

Amities,

XTINE.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Ok, I'll admit that I was going to make you guys wait longer for this one, but I'm just a real pushover. So voila! The third and final chapter of My Immortal. Thank you to everybody who reviewed for me, you make my day, and encourage me to keep on with this insanity! **

**Obi-Wan: (mouths the words) Help me, _please!_**

**Shut up back there, you! Ahem! I don't own anything, except - obviously - Obi-Wan Kenobi (Obi-wan rattles manacles on wrists piteously) No, I'm kidding, I don't own anything (kicks Obi out of room and slams the door) You guys didn't see NOTHIN, understand? HAH! Well, on to review replys!**

**Lil-Kenobi-Greenleaf: **(calculating look) _Life-sized_ Obi-Wan plushies…? WOW! That's even cooler than action figures! **:o)** I need something to cuddle with, anyways. I'm really glad that you like the story, but warnings in advance… you ain't seen sad yet! (wink). Yes, the ROTS soundtrack is awesome, but silly Xtine bought it while still living overseas, so I can't play the cool bonus DVD. Sniffle.

**MissNaye:** Yeah, that was pretty awful, wasn't it? Even I'm not _that_ twisted! Of course, after finishing the fic, you may disagree with me on that….

**Red Lion Phoenix: **I didn't know that he got rid of them… haven't actually _read_ that GN yet. Oh well, this is more fun!

**Snow**: Yes, it would be nice if there was a miracle, wouldn't it? But just wait and see, I'm not going to give anything away!

**Alley: **Unfortunately, the Jedi Mind Trick only works on the weak minded. And while I'm rather a puddle of mush when it comes to Obi-Wan, I'm rather unbendable when it comes to severely angsty possibilities. But I'm glad that the quick update last time made you happy!

**DarkGirl5: **Thank you for such a nice review! Isn't that maggot thing AWESOME! I was revolted and compelled at the same time! I'm glad that you are as twisted as I am. And thank you for liking my SW fics! So happy! I'm almost finished chapter 3 of Chiaroscuro, and then Ill write more on the sequel story to Trapped Angels. But this one might come first!

**Vee017**: An Obi plush for you for being so darn NICE! Yes, Obi-Wan is just made to be tortured, especially since I love him SO much! That makes no sense, I know, I know…I'm quite partial to the shower scene as well… (big grin). I may have to add one into every fic that I write, just for the hell of it! And the maggots weren't my invention, I just used them. With no small amount of malicious glee. If you want happy, check out TempleMistress's fic, its angst with a nice ending. Not like me. But The sequel to Trapped Angels should be nice! Never fear! I _can_ do nice…sometimes….**:o)**

**Liana!** : You acutally posted a review! (happy dance) except that I think a single word does _not_ a review make...even if it _did_ make me smile wickedly. Love you! Hope you like this chapter!

**Vespa**: I'm afraid that this will be the last update for _this_ story, as... well, you'll see. I didn't want to drag it out too much.

**Enyadove:** Well, I hope that you like the story still after this final instalment! Glad to hear that you're enjoying it!

**TEMPLE MISTRESS!** Do you have your tissues to hand? Ready to have your poor little heart torn apart? Heh, I'm sorry, I'm being Sithly again, aren't I? Thank you again for your wonderful in-depth reviews, and for helping me bring this fic into a satisfactory… well, sort of…conclusion. There's one little new part in here, see if you can catch it! Anakin's POV, and I had wanted to write that originally, but I forgot! Oh well…I always try to add some new stuff in these things for you, so you don't have to read the exact same story all over again!

* * *

_Part 3_

_He could feel the light wash over him, soothing in its presence, comforting in its proximity. There was hurt there, pain and confusion commingled… but it was Anakin. Anakin had come back to him. Some tension that he didn't even know he was holding in suddenly was released, a soft sigh escaping his lips._

_Anakin was there. _

_It was an extreme effort, fighting back the lethargy that suffused his entire being, but he wanted to see that precious face, wanted to look into those turbulent eyes and see that wonderful, heart-wrenching smile. _

_----_

Anakin caught his breath as Luminara left him alone in the small room. Obi-Wan looked terrible. His Master had lost all illusions of strength, his aura was feeble, and his skin seemed almost translucent, as though he would just fade away into a whisper. A shadow if his former presence.

Anakin moved closer to the bed, feeling his breathing grow ragged as he surveyed the damage. How could his Master have faded so much, so quickly? The strong, handsome figure that he had so desired in the 'fresher room not too weeks ago had dwindled to a frail skeleton of a man. Stripped of the flowing robes that would have concealed some of the damage, Anakin could see how truly fragile Obi-Wan had become; muscles wasted, skin nearly grey, save for the blossoming of purple bruises. His eyes were shadowed, cheeks sunken slightly, brilliant auburn hair lank against his skull, garish in the gloom.

Anakin reached out one hand to brush that delicate cheek, feeling tears swell in his eyes, an unbearable love in his heart. He closed his eyes tightly, deeply wounded by the sight of his vibrant, vivacious Master, _his Obi-Wan_, reduced to such a state.

"That's a welcoming expression… I'm sorry that I don't look my best."

Anakin's head snapped up, to meet those clear grey-green eyes. The eyes that hadn't changed a bit. _There_ was his beloved, in the sarcastic lilt to his voice, tired and hoarse now, but still charged with the clipped Coruscanti syllables that made Anakin smile.

Moving to sit next to the bed, he gently took one of Obi-Wan's hands in his own. "Well, Master, I would have thought that you would make more of an effort to be presentable, considering _you_ dragged me back here."

Obi-Wan snorted softly in disbelief. "As if I could ever got you to do _anything._"

His heart was singing, despite the numbing pain that suffused every limb of his body, barely quelled by the mind-fogging drugs. Anakin was back. The strength of that Force glow washed over him, and he basked in the love that travelled over their intimate Force-bond. Anakin's gentle grasp on his hand was like an anchor, holding his erratically wandering thoughts to the present, keeping him grounded in reality.

He didn't know what to say to his friend at this moment, there was too much that he wanted to tell Anakin, _needed_ to tell Anakin. The words jumbled in his mind, mixed up and blocked off, until he was unable to sort out what he truly felt. All he could manage was a weak "How was the race?"

"I _was_ winning."

And Anakin's smile lit up the entire world.

He loved bantering with Obi-Wan like this, as though nothing had changed between them. As though nothing would ever change. There was only the moment, and the two of them together in it.

Leaning in closer, he casually brushed his lips over Obi-Wan's temple. "Somehow, I pictured the first time I saw you naked in bed a little differently…" he chuckled softly, a smile forced through the tears that dwelt just beneath the surface of his self-control.

Obi-Wan looked affronted. "I _am_ wearing pants…" he muttered. "There are altogether too many _female_ healers in the Temple," he tried to laugh weakly, but it came out as a cough, forcing him to double over with the force of its intensity.

Anakin instantly had his arms around him, holding him tight enough to bruise. Holding him until the fit subsided, until he could breathe again. Then he felt those arms begin to slacken their hold, to pull away.

"_No…_" he whispered into the crook of Anakin's shoulder. _Force_, when had he become so dependant on the younger man? He just felt so _safe_ in those arms. He never wanted to let go. Anakin had always been hailed as the "Chosen One", prophesized to bring Balance to the Force. All Obi-Wan knew for certain was that the younger man brought balance to _his_ life.

He needed Anakin.

Anakin worried that he would break his Master in half, holding him so tightly in his arms as he was, as though he could keep the rest of the universe at bay, keep any more harm from his perfect Obi-Wan. He felt so light, so ethereal, as though Anakin was embracing little more than a ghost. But when he tried to pull away, those arms, painfully thin now, tightened slightly around him, a whispered protest murmured at the base of his neck. Shifting his weight slightly, he gently slid from the chair to the bed itself, pulling Obi-Wan into a more comfortable embrace. Truth be known, he didn't want to let go either.

"I was going to go after you, you know. When you left." Obi-Wan whispered, his cheek resting on Anakin's chest, right above his heart. Musical thunder in his ears.

Anakin rested his chin lightly on top of his head. "What made you change your mind?"

Obi-Wan chuckled ruefully, nuzzling his head against Anakin. "Well, my well-documented dislike for flying aside, I was in no real condition to pilot a spaceship…."

There was a momentary silence, each Jedi lost in his own thoughts.

"You should have come to the infirmary earlier." Anakin's voice was muffled. Although Obi-Wan couldn't see the other man's face, he had a sick feeling that he was crying. Crying over him. "Then this never would have happened."

Obi-Wan sighed, unsure of what to say. "I spent far too much time in here as a Padawan, Anakin –"

"Did you even think of me?" Anakin demanded, pushing Obi-Wan away roughly, capturing those narrow shoulders in his powerful hands. His face was streaked with tears, his eyes ablaze. "I know you don't give a damn about yourself, but what about _me_, Obi-Wan?"

He hated that stunned look in his Master's eyes, as though he was completely amazed that his life could _possibly_ matter to someone else. He hated whatever had happened to Obi-Wan in the past that would make him so unsure now. Hated that his Master didn't seem to know how important he was. He hated that he was beginning to cry in front of this man who he respected, cherished, and loved so much that it was a constant agony to get through each day. But he was suddenly a boy again, being forced to leave his mother. Being told that Master Qui-Gon Jinn was dead. A Padawan, being told sternly that he was not allowed to love.

He hated the fact that he had had the power to save lives, and had let it slip through his grasp. If Palpatine were to reappear in this room right now, he wouldn't care what it did to him, to become a Sith apprentice, he would take that power. To save Obi-Wan.

He didn't want to fight with him right now, but he couldn't keep the bitterness from his words.

"Did you ever think what it would do to me if… if I lost you? What am I supposed to do?"

Not like this, he didn't want their conversation to go like this. Angry and accusatory. Any moment, Obi-Wan would snap at him to stop being so damnably selfish, and he would be right to do so as well. But he would argue, until Obi-Wan told him to leave.

_Force_, but he didn't want that to happen.

"I'm sorry, Anakin."

The words were so soft that he almost didn't hear them, but they forced him to raise his eyes to Obi-Wan's own. To see the pain therein.

Sith _Hell_, but it was fucking ironic. To have the person that he had utterly failed apologizing to _him_.

Obi-Wan touched the contour of his jaw lightly, sliding his hand back to tangle in Anakin's disorderly curls.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't." he interrupted his Master, catching the hand that played lightly with his hair. "Don't apologize to me…" he leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Obi-Wan's. This hurt too much, he should leave. Leave this room and try to forget everything. Let it all go.

Or put the emitter of his lightsabre to his temple and…

"I shouldn't have pushed you away from me. I didn't want to, Anakin, oh _Force_, I'm so sorry…"

Sorry. What a trite word that was, how incredibly inadequate. To feel Anakin's heartbeat, the sensation of that unruly blonde hair caught between his fingers. Things should have been different between them, whatever the Code would say to the contrary. When Anakin caught his hand and held it still, he knew it was too late for them. Not that he could blame his friend - to be embraced by someone who looked like little more than a living corpse was no doubt decidedly unpleasant.

He was so selfish; to be mortally afraid of what would come beyond tomorrow. He would rejoin with the Force - that was what they were taught to believe as younglings. It was an assertion he had never questioned until this moment.

Suddenly he was terrified. Terrified of dying, of being cut off from the world, from _Anakin._

He didn't want to die.

So he whispered apologies, trying to set things right, to make things the way they used to be between him and his former apprentice. Before Jabiim, before Rattatak. Before that damnable encounter in the 'fresher room.

He just wanted to go back to being a simple Jedi Knight, with an exceptional Padawan to guard his back. He didn't want to be here, in this dark room, so close to Anakin and yet so far away. He wanted to return to the days when he was young and handsome… and it was even _conceivable _that Anakin could love him.

"Come here." Anakin whispered, gently pushing him back down on the bed, lying down next to him, arms still wrapped securely around his waist. Obi-Wan curled in closer to him, tucking his head against Anakin's chest, pressing one hand to his face so that the younger Jedi wouldn't see him crying.

Anakin felt Obi-Wan shaking in his arms, and, his heart clenching painfully with the knowledge, knew that his Master had started to cry. It made him feel so damnably _helpless_, to know that he couldn't ease those tears. He felt Obi-Wan's fear through their Force-bond, in the way that the Jedi Master clung so tightly to him. He wanted to erase all that pain, to kiss away all of his sadness. To make everything right between them.

"Come here" he repeated softly, lips against Obi-Wan's hair. Closing his eyes, and reaching out….

_Come here_, and Obi-Wan felt the light that was Anakin surge along their Force bond, wrapping around him, lifting his spirit from the broken shell that was his mortal prison. He breathed in deeply, dimly aware of their two bodies still pressed together on the thin mattress of the infirmary bed. All his eyes saw was light

_White light that suffused his being._

_(Anakin?)_

_And the man was there, dressed in his flowing black, eyes smiling, the scar that cut across his eye vanished in this place. Minus the cybernetic arm that had replaced his real one after the battle with Dooku._

_What the _Force..?

_Obi-Wan looked down at himself, shocked to see the flow of his tan Jedi robes, the strength of his hands. The brush of his hair against his cheeks, longer than it had been for over three years._

_As if reading his thoughts, Anakin laughed. (I was so upset when you got it cut.)_

_(I remember. You said it made me look old.)_

_Anakin stepped forward, casually running his hand – his _real_ hand – through Obi-Wan's hair, letting his palm rest on the base of Obi-Wan's skull, making his pulse start to race. Drawing him closer, until their bodies touched. Anakin lowered his head slowly to Obi-Wan's own, smiling with the faintest sparkle of tears in his eyes. Their lips met, brushing gently, tenderly. _

_Obi-Wan felt the tears start as he wound his arms around Anakin's neck, pulling him closer, deepening their embrace. _

_(This is how you'll always look to me.) Anakin's voice, speaking directly to his heart. (Perfect. Beautiful.)_

Then the light was gone, the meditation that they had shared vanished. They were still entwined on the tiny cramped bed. But there was peace there now. Neither one of them had had to say it, the light; the Force glow that had cradled them both for a brief few moments had resonated with the emotion.

Love.

Anakin felt something ease in Obi-Wan, and smiled weakly. He had brought Obi-Wan into his own thoughts, had made his Master see how beautiful he truly was, how much Anakin loved him. Nothing had changed in that respect. He would love Obi-Wan his entire life, even after his Master moved on to join with the Force.

He was surprised when Obi-Wan pushed him back slightly, moving away so that he could stare Anakin in the eyes. There was a strange light of resolve there, some decision reached of which Anakin was unaware.

"Remember me that way? Always?"

Obi-Wan's voice was so quiet, that Anakin had to lean in to catch the words, so intense that it made him draw back slightly. All he could do was nod mutely.

Relieved, Obi-Wan sank back down against the pillows, eyes drifting shut momentarily as he sighed, letting go of all residual tension. With a heavy gesture, he motioned to where his robes were hanging, the utility belt that was next to them. The lightsabre quivered slightly as he tried to exert the Force to draw it to himself, but remained in place.

Instantly, Anakin stretched out his own hand, pressing his palm against the back of Obi-Wan's, lending his Master his strength. The silver cylinder jiggled slightly, then rose to float gradually across the room. Anakin let Obi-Wan guide it; let him borrow his strength rather than taking control of the movement. He would let his Master maintain his pride.

But when the lightsabre's emitter reached the bed, Obi-Wan let his hand fall back to his side, leaving Anakin to snatch the cylinder from the air.

"Master…?"

Obi-Wan met his eyes, the faint curve of a smile tracing the edge of his lips.

Anakin instantly knew what he wanted. Something that he couldn't bear to do. Agitated, he extricated himself from Obi-Wan's form, rising to pace across the room.

_(Anakin.)_

That voice, so patient, so loving. Damn it, but he wouldn't listen! This was ridiculous! He couldn't… he _wouldn't_.

_"NO_." he cried out, shaking his head wildly, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. He couldn't breathe; there was no air in the room, a strange pressure was pushing down on his heart. "No. I can't, I _won't_."

_(Anakin, let it go. You _will_ be fine without me.)_

_Damn him _for sounding so calm! It was a lie, a bitter lie. He would die without Obi-Wan there. Anakin gasped in a uneven breath, feeling himself trembling violently.

_No no no no no. _

"Don't make me do this," he pleaded, hand clenching convulsively around the hilt of the lightsabre.

Obi-Wan didn't respond to his entreaty, but Anakin could feel the subtle desperation that flowed through their bond. The pain. His Master was living in agony, trapped in a wasted body that was dying around him. He wouldn't recover; they both knew that full well, much as Anakin may like to pretend otherwise. The only question was how long it would take for him to die. Obi-Wan had always been strong.

He was begging Anakin to let him go.

Anakin wasn't sure he was ready to do that.

_(You're a wonderful Jedi Knight, Anakin. I'm proud of you.)_

Anakin tilted his head back to the darkened ceiling, letting a ragged breath escape him.

_(…and I will always be with you.)_

Anakin felt his shoulders slump in despair, bit his lip, and drew in a long, slow breath in an attempt to steady himself.

_Oh, Force…._

Then, still half-blinded by tears, he turned and pressed the lightsabre's emitter over Obi-Wan's heart. Met his Master's, his _love's_, eyes.

Kissed him one last time.

"I love you."

Obi-Wan smiled. _(And I you, Anakin.)_

He pressed the activator button.

----

It was the sudden absence in the Force that made Luminara rush into the room, although violent sobs followed hard on its heels. Anakin was collapsed on the ground next to the infirmary bed, curled up tightly, one hand still clenching Obi-Wan's wrist. The other held a lightsabre tightly.

The perfect circle over the dead Jedi's heart told her the rest of the tale.

Tugging Anakin to his feet, she guided his reluctant form from the room, escorting him to his own chambers, and tucked him into his own bed. He didn't stop crying for a single instant.

Soothing the agony in his mind with a Force-touch and cool hands on his fevered forehead, Luminara guided the broken Jedi Knight to sleep. She sat by his side for a long time, stroking his mussed hair and willing him pleasant dreams.

She felt the tears rise in her own eyes when he pressed back against her hand, murmuring his Master's name.

"You did well, young one," she whispered.

He smiled in his sleep.

----

_"Promote you to the rank of Jedi Master, this Council does. Spoke highly of you, Obi-Wan Kenobi always did."_

_"I shall, of course, endeavour to live up to his reputation."_

_"Miss him, do you?"_

_Anakin smiled softly, reaching out into the Force. White light. Pure light that wrapped around his senses. _

"_I don't. I don't need to."_

_Obi-Wan was still with him. He just had to close his eyes. Immortal in his memories, in the touch of the Force._

_Free…._

_-----_

"I held your hand through all of these years,  
You still have all of me."  
_Evanescence, My Immortal_

_END_

* * *

So yes, any and alll Obi-lovers now despise me. I'll go hide in my room so I don't get yelled at. Hee hee hee. I hope that you liked the fic, and if it made you cry, be sure to tell me that! 

Leave a review, or Anakin willbe next! Jedi-cide! Mwahahah!

Ahem.

Xtine


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